


We’re All Doomed Now (It’s the Beginning of the End of the World (As Tony Knows It))

by Rellanka



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Attempted Seduction, Fluff with a side of (slight) angst, Future multi-pair fic, I'm going to be freaking Tony out by introducing love and happiness into his life, Lean back and enjoy a Tony more confused then you've ever seen in canon, M/M, Multi, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Pre-Relationship, Seduction FAIL, This is going to be so much fun, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony you have no idea what's ahead of you, Tony's genius does not extend to emotional relationships, Tony/everyone in the future, We'll get there, What can I do these are angsty boys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-08-23 17:01:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8335432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rellanka/pseuds/Rellanka
Summary: The alternative title was: The Time That (Almost) Everyone Tony Knows Decides That It’s About Time They Acknowledged Their Feelings for The Billionaire Philanthropist and Started Courting Him. And Now Tony’s The Only Fucking Sane One Left. (Help him.)But I felt that might be too long. Kicking this drabble series off with Bucky, ‘cause why not?





	1. This is the beginning so Tony doesn't really know he should be worried (yet) - WinterIron

You know, sheets were wonderful things. They kept you warm but not too hot when you didn’t feel like using the covers. They helped keep blankets from getting dirty and needing to be washed as often.

They were pretty handy as a quick covering if you didn’t have clothes available **like Tony really wished the naked man stretched out on his bed would realize.**

He stayed frozen in the doorway for a moment before calling out,

“Friday?” 

“Yeah, boss?”

“Have you finally decided to carry through with your plans to knock me off so you can finally take over the world without my interference?”

“Not today, boss.”

(There were probably more acceptable coping skills to deal with the trauma from Ultron then joking about another AI he had made becoming a murder bot. But Tony had never been what society viewed as acceptable, and this was his coping method goddamnit. He pushed away the thoughts of desperation tinged with creeping red tendrils and nightmares and fear fear FEAR, and focused on the man (STILL NAKED!!!) in his bed again. He made a pretty good distraction.)

“Mind telling me why you let someone in that’s tried to kill me in the past, then?”

Bucky jerked at this (looking disturbingly like a puppy Tony had kicked, what the fuck?!), and finally opened his mouth to say something. “I never tried to kill you, I just… I didn’t want to die. I probably deserved to, but… Look. If- if that’s what you want-“

“Don’t.” Tony barked, finally managing to tear his eyes away from Barnes to turn and stride toward his desk where he focused on putting down his briefcase, unable to face the way the man had looked like he was making it an offer. “Reaction’s time come and gone, and despite what you may think, I’m not a murderer when I’m in my right mind. I’m not going to fucking hurt you, Barnes. Though I am still really intensely curious **as to why you are naked and in my bed.** ”

Friday, her usual helpful self, chimed in then, “It’s a seduction attempt, boss. Don’t worry, I used the hardware from the new automated repair system you’re creating to shift some of the artillery for the suits into the walls and vents of this room. He is now in the crosshairs of no less than 32 guns. Too many for even him to get away with any funny business.”

Tony took a moment to contemplate those facts, then decided to deal with the less frightening one first.

“You are actively terrifying sometimes, you know that, right, Fry?”

“Thank you, boss.” 

Tony leaned his hip against desk, before crossing his arms and once again facing Bucky. “Barnes. Are you trying to seduce me so you can kill me while I’m vulnerable?”

Bucky jerked like a live wire had shocked him, and Tony determinedly kept his eyes **up**. 

“No! No, I just said I wasn’t here to hurt you! No, look, I just thought that maybe- I mean, I know that you don’t really know me and I haven’t actually met you when we weren’t figh- Fuck, I mean, I didn’t know how to- Sam said it was a good idea!”

Tony, who had been staring at Bucky with slowly growing bemusement, blinked at that. “Sam Wilson? The guy that I was pretty sure could only barely stand the sight of me on a day to day basis? That one? That…. Makes a lot of sense, actually.” (Though if Bucky was intended as some sort of punishment that would send Tony into a panic attack, it seemed unusually cruel of him. Tony had thought better of Sam then that, but… there had been the fight and it’d been a long time since he had seen Sam.) 

Either Tony’s thoughts were visible on his face, or Tony was unknowingly speaking out loud again, because Bucky was quick to clarify. 

“No, no, I don’t mean that way. I mean- Sam actually really does like you and he’s been telling me that I need to start acknowledging what I feel so that I can start realizing the differences and begin processing things from- before. And look, talking with Sam’s been helping me and I’m doing better now than I was. And Sam says that I still deserve things even though I’m not so sure about that sometimes. And you’re- I’ve been watching videos of the team, to try to see what Steve’s been up to, and you came up a lot. It’s pretty amazing how you just opened your home up to them and provided them with anything they needed, and I read about all the charity work your company does, and hell, the charity work you just do personally, and how you chose to risk your company by shutting the weapons manufacturing down just because you weren’t willing to let it continue to make weapons that could be used to hurt innocent people, and,” Bucky studied the ground like it was about to rise up and swallow him (or like he wanted it to), “I really admire you. As a person. Because of that and a lot of other things. And you’re beautiful, absolutely breathtaking, and I’m attracted to you. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be trying to force you to want me too. God, the last time I saw you was- Christ, I’ve gotten so bad at this.”

Tony, previously standing slack jawed and stunned as Bucky’s speech had continued, finally recovered enough to raise one hand to rub at his brow (and cover his blushing face, but hopefully Barnes didn’t see that) and raised the other in a ‘stop’ gesture. “Don’t. We are not even going to get into the last time I saw you while you’re laying naked in my bed. Are you telling me that you really are here just to seduce me, Barnes? Wait,” Tony said as the implications of Bucky’s last statement reached him, “’Gotten so bad at this’? Barnes, am I your first attempt a relationship since you got free from Hydra?”

Barnes, red faced himself, nodded miserably. 

“Wow that is such a fucking horrible idea.” Tony said blankly.

Bucky tilted his head forward to hide his face for a moment, before looking back up with what was obviously a forced smile. “Yeah, I kinda realized. I’m sorry, Tony, I’ll get out of your hair here. Sorry.” Bucky reached out and tugged one of the blankets (that had been supposedly purposely mussed to showcase Bucky’s seduction? Tony had left a cleanly made bed that morning, not one with the covers arranged like the bed had seen some… activity) over to cover himself and seemed to be getting ready to get his clothes from wherever he had hidden them, avoiding Tony’s eyes.

And Tony?

Tony wondered why he felt like he was making a mistake, when he was trying to make one of those responsible, healthy adult choices that other people were always trying to get him to make. A relationship between him and James ‘Bucky’ Barnes was probably destined to end in horrible, world-burning failure. 

He was probably going to regret it.

But Tony was used to regretting things, and this might turn out to be something he really, really didn’t. 

“Stop for a second.” He said and Bucky froze where he was sitting, eyes snapping up to meet Tony’s. “Maybe it is worth giving this a chance. No, I am not going to sleep with you right now, so keep yourself covered,” He snapped quickly as Bucky began looking hopeful and grasped the blanket as if he was going to move it away again, “But I am willing to try to get to know you. And I want to make this clear right now: we are going to get to know one another before something sexual happens between us, Barnes. If you wanted someone that was going to hop in bed with you right off you missed your chance, because my days of sleeping with strangers are over. You think the trouble is still worth it and want to get to know me, stick around and I’ll give you the opportunity.”

It was almost worth how embarrassing that was to say to see how Bucky’s face… just lit up at Tony’s words, for lack of better ways to describe Bucky’s expression right then.

“You know, used to be that all the girls and boys dreamed about me showing up naked in their beds. Sure you want to give **this** opportunity up, Stark?”

Tony…. Tony could not deal with Bucky sassing him while laying back in Tony’s bed (barely covered!!!) in what was obviously a provocative manner. He refused. He turned sharply and started walking back towards the door. 

“Yeah, well, I’m a classy ho. You’ve gotta wine and dine me before you get to taste the goods.”

He shut the door behind him to the sound of Bucky’s laughter.

***


	2. 1b. Tony gets to know Bucky a little and also starts getting a little confused

Things had been… interesting since Bucky had pretty much moved into the Avengers facility. Tony wasn’t complaining exactly; it wasn’t as if the place didn’t have room, and Bucky was surprisingly good company. After managing to get over the initial awkwardness that came from the fact that Tony had seen Bucky naked without ever having sex with the guy (not as rare as people would think for him, actually. Tony had seen a lot of naked people, whether by accident or through their design, that he had no intention of sleeping with) Tony had discovered that Bucky had sass. A surprising amount of it, actually, for a guy that preferred to be silent a lot of the time. Hell, he even made his silences sassy.

Tony would be lying if he said he wasn’t impressed.

Flipping some calculations over to another screen to allow Friday to run the numbers, Tony began working on some calibrations for his repulsors. He was this close to figuring out how to get more power out of them without sacrificing any of the other programs in the suit. Bucky, as he had been since they had come to their… agreement, was lurking in the corner like some sort of lifelike gargoyle. 

Tony grinned as he remembered when Rhodey first discovered the newest decoration for Tony’s lab after coming down to drag Tony back into civilization following an extended period of tinkering.

***

“Hey Tones, come on, time to leave the cave and enter the outside world again. Even geniuses need food, water, sun-“ Rhodey froze as he spotted Bucky lurking in the corner, “-light. Tony, get down NOW!” 

Tony glanced up just in time to see Rhodey grab his gun from…somewhere (where had Rhodey been hiding it? Not even Tony had spotted a hint of a holster) and point it unwaveringly at Bucky. Which was bad, for several reasons. Tony’d learned a long time ago not to underestimate how far Rhodey would go to protect him; he didn’t doubt that Rhodey was capable of shooting to kill if that’s what he thought it would take to keep Tony safe. And Tony would be pretty sad at this point if Bucky wound up with holes in non-fatal areas, let alone if Bucky got hit in fatal ones. 

Bucky, meanwhile, had frozen, obviously caught between reacting and staying still so that he wouldn’t have to attack pretty much the most important person in the world to Tony. Tony appreciated that.

(Tony also, in retrospect, probably should have told Rhodey about this newest development in his life before now.)

Tony eased between Rhodey’s gun and Bucky as smoothly as possible. “Hey, honeycake, how are you doing today? You look great. Totally like you’re capable of making rational decisions. Which is good, because I really need you to listen to me right now. Let’s not aim a gun at a guy that’s probably got more PTSD than me, okay? Than me, Rhodey. I’m pretty damn sure that has to be a fucking record.”

“PTSD isn’t a thing you measure Tony, it effects everyone differently. You shouldn’t be measuring your experience against anyone else’s-” Rhodey repeated the old lecture by habit, eyes meeting Tony’s with something like exasperation, suspicion and resigned expectation growing in his eyes as he watched Tony place himself between a bullet and Barnes. “You adopted yourself a lethal, previously brainwashed assassin whose danger level hasn’t been fully documented and want to keep him now, didn’t you?”

Tony grinned. (Rhodey knew him so well.)

“He’s housetrained and everything!” He replied brightly.

“Is this the part where I bark?” Bucky inserted wryly from behind him after a moment of silence.

***

Things had gone well, if strangely, from there. It had gotten awkward for a moment when Bucky, the little shit, had actually approached Rhodey and asked for his permission to court Tony, to Tony’s flustered squawking and Rhodey’s amusement. (And Tony knew that Bucky was with the times enough that he knew that wasn’t necessary. He knew it.) Tony had a bad feeling about the gut-shaking, floor falling laughter that had overcome Rhodey at Bucky’s question, though. And Tony wasn’t even going near Rhodey later asking Bucky if there would be other’s and Bucky’s silent nod. What the fuck had that been about, anyway? Bucky and Rhodey’s conversation after that had seemed to be in a language Tony didn’t speak, all knowing looks and fond expressions spaced between confusing words. Had Tony missed something? Why were they suddenly acting like two men brought closer by a common bond? (He had a sneaking suspicion that ‘bond’ had something to do with the care and feeding of one Tony Stark, but pushed away that thought. Tony was a fully grown adult perfectly capable of taking care of himself!)

…

It had all been very confusing, is what Tony was saying. 

But at least Rhodey had agreed to let him keep Bucky.

…Bucky, who was currently gracing Tony with one of the judge-yist silences Tony had ever been given. 

“What?” Tony asked, when it was clear that Bucky wasn’t going to bother with saying anything out loud until Tony made the effort of asking him.

“You haven’t eaten a single thing since this morning. Anyone ever tell you that food is good for you, and that that this weird fear you have toward eating it more than once a day is ridiculous?” Bucky asked, looking pointedly at the clock.

“Only all the sassy assholes with latent mother hening traits in my life.” Tony shot back, already ducking his head to go back to work on the project in front of him. “So just you and Rhodey, basically.”

“Luckily for all us ‘mother hens’ there’s something that’s guaranteed to get you out of the lab and to somewhere with food that you’ll actually consume.” Bucky said casually, leaning back and smiling smugly once Tony’s curiosity was great enough to cause Tony to lift his head to look at him. “Your meeting with T’Challa is in an hour.”

Tony blinked. “The meeting with T’Challa’s not until tomorrow.” He said, before glancing over at the clock on one of his screens. (Surely Tony hadn’t lost track of time that badly…)

Bucky’s flat, slightly amused, “It’s Tuesday, Tony.” came right as Tony’s eyes caught the date shown below the time. 

(Tony had.)

Well, fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me being the genius that I am, I deleted the chapter explaining about what was going on with my family without realizing that would delete all of the comments, as well. ...I'm at least partially sure that I actually have a brain. But I did see the comments, and I thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for all of their kind words. Things have been difficult, but my family has managed to get past the heartbreak and started moving on with everyday life. (My grandfather wasn't able to keep up with his house anymore and moved to a smaller home that was closer to my mom's, which was simultaneously heartbreaking and a relief to have him nearby.) My muse and drive for this story is still sluggish, but I'm trying to kick it back into gear. Didn't get to everything that I had wanted to in this chapter, but it's getting there. (One of the reasons that I posted this a little early is to help inspire me to continue. Another is, admittedly, that I ran across a Tony-bash fic, and I wanted to put some Pro-Tony content out in the world.) Also wanted to let you know that not everything is going to be happening in a day any longer; I decided to try to go the more organic, realistic route rather than total crack-fic, and hopefully it works out okay. Next chapter will have Tony getting ready for his ~~date~~ meeting, laser tag, T'Challa and probably a garden date. (It will definitely have Ironpanther.) Thank you again, so much, to everyone that's commented. It really does mean more than I can say.


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